Why Haven't You Left Yet?

Dear Durant Brooks,

I'd hoped that this would be a farewell letter, but apparently you're still on the team. I think that all of Washington, D.C. is surprised by that! Yeah, yeah, I heard something about you needing an MRI and there is something wrong with your hamstring or your leg or something else that I don't care very much about.

Look, man: you kinda suck. I mean, you're the worst punter in the NFL. That's something, right? I mean, if there was an award for lousiest first-string punter in the NFL you'd win! Hands down! So one could argue that you are, in fact, a winner, not a loser.

Not me, though. Sure, there were tons of problems that the Redskins need to fix, but you are by far the biggest problem. We gave the Rams great field position nearly everytime and we need someone who can execute. The only thing that you executed was our chance at winning.

Here is my suggestion for who should replace you: Chris Horton. I know that he's a safety, but I feel sure that he'll be better than you. Second choice: Antwaan Randle El. The only thing he's not good at is punt returning; otherwise he can catch and throw the ball. Maybe Horton could take over for the punt returning...he can do it all!

So long,

Karen

P.S. What's with the name? I figured that you were Canadian and that would explain something like "Durant", but you were born in Georgia. What gives?