16 October 2008

Please Continue to be Awesome

Dear Chris Horton,

I'm going to take a break from my mean letters to write a nice one for you. You are awesome. Watching you intercept a pass would bring tears to my eyes if my heart wasn't ice cold (the only thing that makes me cry is beatings from Patriots Boyfriend--just kidding. I still don't cry then. I get what I deserve). Anyhoo, here are some things that I like about you:

1. How you intercept the ball.

2. How you tackle enemy players.

3. How you act sort of humble even though you know that you're one of the best players on the team.

4. How you were our final pick in the draft--saving best for last! Clearly picking Durant Brooks ahead of you was a mistake...coughVinnyCerratocough. Besides, who drafts a freaking punter ever? (Eh...I actually don't know too much about that, but one of the guys at work told me that it was a loser move).

5. Um...your hair? Although I must say that I had no idea what your name was for a while because I couldn't read the back of your jersey and because I rarely trust what Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, and Tony Siragusa say when they announce our games. One time they were talking about how Coach Zorn was yelling at the kicker for missing a field goal when it said "Brooks" right across the player's jersey. That's right. He was yelling at Durant Brooks for messing up the holding for the kick. Man, I'm glad that we got rid of him! Still, though, if your hair was shorter, I'd have known your name sooner and you wouldn't have inconvenienced me. Just sayin'.

In conclusion, please continue to be awesome and maybe you could teach your buddies on the team a thing or two.

So Glad We Have You,



Rachel said...

I'm so glad someone is finally putting you in your place. GO PATRIOTS (boyfriend)!!

Karen said...

I'm glad that he's putting me in my place, too. Could you imagine what life would be like if dinner wasn't on the table at 6 o'clock on the dot? Patriots Boyfriend made sure that I'd remember that 6:01 is unacceptable.

He's making our relationship stronger.