24 November 2008

Your Future Plane Rides Depend Upon It

Dear Ladell Betts,

Hey, do you remember that time when we were playing the Seattle Seahawks and you fumbled the ball, we almost lost the game, but we didn't, and then we all had a good laugh about it?

Well, not me. I did not have a good laugh. I didn't even have a bad laugh--there was no laughing! Fumbles upset me, Ladell. Bunches. They also make me wonder why you hate the Redskins.

Is it because Clinton Portis is better than you and gets the ball more often? It's not really fair to hate someone because they're awesome, Ladell. Please keep that in mind. You should be glad that you're our number two guy...because clearly, we need someone who doesn't fumble the freaking ball and give the Seahawks plenty of time to come back and win the game. I will say that you're better than Shaun Alexander, but so is my 8-year old cousin. Hope.

I hope that after the game you bought Shawn Springs a nice steak dinner for saving your butt by intercepting on Matt "I Wish I Was as Cool as My Sister-in-Law Elisabeth" Hasslebeck. Without that interception, we might have lost and you would have gone home on a different plane from the rest of your team. It's been known to happen.

Anyway, I'm sure that we're not going to get rid of you (thanks to Shawn Springs), so please shape up. Your future plane rides with the team depend upon it.

No More Fumbles!


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