25 December 2008

What's Funny about a Redskins Gift?

Dear Dan Snyder,

We don't see eye-to-eye on many things, but I thought that I'd drop you a line to let you know that you're making money off of me being a Super Fan in these harsh economic times. Here's a list of all the Redskins items that I received for Christmas:

-Redskins Calendar. This way I can see my favorite players everyday of the year!

-Redskins Helmet window decal. This way everyone on the Dulles Toll Road can see who my favorite team is...everyday of the year!

-Redskins burgundy-and-white snow hat. For when I'm feeling cold and sporty.

-Redskins pink snow hat. For when I'm feeling cold and girly.

-Redskins "wine set". When I open a non-Redskins bottle of wine (I know, blasphemy) with the Redskins corkscrew and don't finish it off, I can put a Redskins bottle stopper or whatever they're called in there. Keep all my wine fresh. Maybe I'll buy some real bottles instead of relying only on boxed wine. NOT. I'll never give up my Boxed Wine Wednesdays.

-Redskins holiday greeting cards. I'm going to use these next year and send them to all my friends who don't support the 'Skins.

I should be honest and say that one of the snow hats (the pink one) and the holiday cards were part of a gag gift that my grandfather received and then handed over to me. I don't get the joke, though. What's funny about a Redskins gift?

Anyway, Dan Snyder, I'm going to keep advertising your team around here, and even when I drive up to New England tomorrow (I know--Patriots' country. I'm scared, too). Perhaps you can repay me with cash or Redskin wins. Just thowing that out there.

Merry Christmas!



Sachin said...

Ahh, good work, I'm duly impressed. I gotta admit, I normally write off most Redskins fans I know of for not knowing enough about the team, but you definitely know your stuff. Also, a female fan that can hold her ground, Patriots bf is lucky there.

Any chance at a guest write-in sometime?

Karen said...

Absolutely to a guest write-in! Sometimes Zorn and the boys get a bit discouraged, thinking that I'm the only fan who cares enough to criticize. I'm sure that they'd love to hear from you, especially around draft time.