21 December 2009

I Hope That Santa Leaves You A Lump Of Coal

Dear Jim Zorn,

I warned you.  I told you that Shaun Suisham was a spy for the Dallas Cowboys, but no one wanted to listen to me.  Do you think that it's a coincidence that Suisham missed not one, but two field goals against the Cowboys and then a measly twenty-nine days later is signed by them?  SERIOUSLY?!!?!?!?!  This is NO coincidence!  This was planned, it was intentional, and it is unacceptable!  When, for God's sake, when are we going to stop signing former Cowboys?  It is never ever a good decision.  And perhaps you didn't sign Suisham to begin with...but you kept him on the team for as long as you did.

I hope that Santa leaves you a lump of coal in your stocking.  If he leaves you nothing at all, you might think that he just forgot you, but if he leaves you coal, you'll know that you're on the Naughty List.

You're already dead to me, but you're going to be worse than dead--zombie food--if Shaun Suisham kicks a field goal to win the game against us when we play Dallas on Sunday.

Enjoy your coal,

Karen

5 comments:

mike said...

Shaun Suisham went from being one of my fav players to being dead to me!

Karen said...

That's because you're incredibly fickle; you see, I've hated him for ages. I'm so much better at hating him than you it's ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs Reskin "Lady",

Congrats on being a Deadskins fan! You seem to show all the signs of being a true Skins fan. I can't wait to read your 2011 redskins superbowl post! Stop being so damn optimistic and realize that all NFL teams go through a slump. It happens. Just so happens that the skins forgot that this was a temporary thing and you're customarily supposed to snap out if it. Hell even the Raiders figured out that winning is what you're supposed to do on Sunday.

Love your posts!
Jeff
Go Panthers even though they suck this year. At least they know what it's like to play in the play offs this century!

Karen said...

Anonymous:

1. It's "Miss" not "Mrs"
2. It's "Redskin" not "Reskin." What is a "reskin"? It sounds painful and/or disgusting.
3. I can't wait to read my 2011 Redskins Superbowl post, either. I'm sure that it'll be awesome, just like all my other letters.
4. I will not stop being so damn optimistic! I love being so damn optimistic! It's my thing! Pessimists are usually right, but optimists are the ones that change the world. Or something.
5. Also, the Redskins have made it to the playoffs at least twice during this century. Maybe you should actually know something about them before you make stupid comments.

Thanks for reading!!!!

Anonymous said...

Jim Zorn is out. Mike Shanahan is in, it looks like. But beware of gifts from Denver. We got Jay Cutler, and that guy throws footballs into the loving mitts of the opposition.