19 October 2009

Done. Kaput. Over.

Dear Jim Zorn,

Wow, tough break, guy.  I know that you’re catching a lot of guff from Dan Snyder and his henchmen on one side and irate fans on the other.  It's time to say good bye to the good old days.  You know by now where I stand, but I’m also here to give it to you straight.

Don’t trust Vinny Cerrato; I believe that this guy suffers from “I-wish-I-coulda-been-a-Head-Coachitis”, but knows that it’s better to be the devil’s right hand than to be the next one crossed off his list.  Cerrato knows that he has to blame our losses on you instead of on his terrible General Managing skills…although, to be fair, the losses are also your fault.

Cerrato has probably given you the impression that he’s on your side and that relieving you of play-calling duties was done to help you out.  You have way too much on your plate being Head Coach, Quarterbacks Coach, and Offensive Coordinator, he says and you agree.  But don’t you wonder at all why they’re stripping you of play-calling in particular?

Okay, sure, they’re not going to demote you from head coach.  It just isn’t done.   Once you’re a Head Coach, your only moves are to resign or get fired.  To keep yourself from getting fired, you agreed to let Sherman Lewis come in and oversee things.  That had to hurt.  But what should hurt more is the knowledge that you’re done.  Kaput.  Over.  The fat lady is singing.

Here’s why: You were originally hired to be the Offensive Coordinator, a bump up from your previous position as Quarterbacks Coach.  Then a couple weeks later when Snyder couldn’t find whoever he wanted, he just promoted you to Head Coach in a super obvious, “He’s-not-the-best-but-he’s-the-best-that-I-can-do” move.   The main job of the Offensive Coordinator is to call plays (I feel the necessity to explain this to you because, really, who are we kidding?  You very well might not know any of this); basically, the thing that you were supposed to be great at and the reason why you were hired is the very thing that they took from you.

Let me repeat that:  they just took away the one thing that they hired you to do (originally).  If that isn’t enough to get you to start looking for a new job, I don’t know what will.

Then again, I’m writing to the guy who thought that a Hail Mary play was a better call than a field goal attempt.  I mean, seriously?!  A Hail Mary play, by its definition, is a last chance resort!  You had another option and yes, I know that the other option was Shaun Suisham and, yes, I’m glad that you were finally listening to me about not relying on him, but even I would have made him kick that darn ball.  And I wouldn’t have let him have any water at halftime if he’d missed.  He would have either made it or learned his lesson when he got dehydrated.

Learning lessons is important, Jim Zorn.  Maybe you should try it some time.

Not surprised that you’re in this position,


P.S. So excited to see Todd Collins back in the game!

P.P.S.  So sad that Jason Campbell isn’t a good enough quarterback to stay in because I like him, too.   As a person, not as my quarterback.  He killed me in Fantasy Football points yesterday.  A negative two.  NEGATIVE TWO.


William said...

I was in the middle of typing a dissertation regarding my offseason recommendations for the Redskins and just as I'm putting the finishing touches on, Firefox crashes.

So instead of retyping my masterpiece I'll ask you why you would ever want Jason Campbell as a fantasy QB?

Karen said...

Dude, I NEVER wanted him as FF QB! That's who I got in the auto-draft and all the good and mediocre QBs were already taken!

Now I need to see if Todd Collins is free...just because I need SOMEONE.