23 January 2009

Clearly a Slow News Week

Dear Redskins,

Yes, all of you. I wanted to let you know that at approximately 4:35pm on Tuesday, January 6th, I was driving right behind a Mercedes or a Jaguar (I forget because it's been over two weeks now) that belonged to one of you! You had a Washington Redskins license plate holder (thrown on for free at the dealership, no doubt), and a Redskins window decal on the bottom center of your rear window. The windows were tinted very dark, so I couldn't identify which one of you it was. We were on southbound I-495, right at the Route 123 merge. You came over and got in the merge lane to get ahead of traffic (kind of a jerkish move, by the way) and I had to wait behind you so that I could actually use the off-ramp (you know, because I was in the lane because I HAD TO USE IT). When you finally moved back into the right-hand lane I was able to get next to you and try to peek into your car, but, like I said, I couldn't identify which player you were. You also had a near miss of a fender-bender because I considered bumping your car just so that I could meet you. Alas, I didn't do it because that would be a little crazy, but mostly because I had to get to Panera at 4:40.

Ever since I drove right next to Mark Brunnell on I-95 North on the day of the Redskins-Bears game in 2007, I keep a lookout for expensive cars with Redskins merchandise attached to it. I was happy to drive so close to you, even if you were sort of blocking me from taking my exit, asshat.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that I'm always looking out for you guys. It's why I moved to Ashburn, obviously. Redskins Park is MINE after dark. Am I kidding??



No comments: