Dear Jim Zorn,
Everyone in Washington is wondering what you're going to do tonight and you better not disappoint. I'd like to officially welcome you to the family, but around here a coach isn't a coach until he's beaten Dallas. This is why Norv Turner didn't join the family until his second year of coaching.
You have a lot to live up to; even though Joe Gibbs wasn't as effective in his second time in Washington, we still worship him in a way that's creepy to outsiders. And, honestly, no one really wanted you for this job. You're just a placeholder until Dan Snyder can buy Bill Cowher from CBS.
If you start winning games for us, though, everyone will soon forget that they never wanted you and will, in fact, defend you to the death. You can't beat the Washington Redskins for their loyalty, even in times of struggle. So good luck. You'll be hearing from me again soon.
Sincerely,
Karen
P.S. I only sign my letters "love" when they're to Joe Gibbs. You are not there yet.
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