26 September 2008

Beating the Cowboys Periodically Since October 9, 1960!

Dear Jim Zorn,

Sunday is a super big game for you, and you don't even know it, man. Seriously, Dan Snyder might even keep a coach on when he's 2-14 for the season, so long as those two wins are against Dallas. Washington is full of squabbling politicians and lobbyists, but the one thing that brings everyone together is a great defeat of the Dallas Cowboys.

I'm quite disappointed that you do not hold the fiery rage in your heart that all true Redskins fans must when it comes to the Cowboys. You don't understand how big this is: it's more than you and your team...it's for every Washington fan in any town they happen to be in. A Redskins win over any team guarantees a cheerful Washington on Monday, but a Redskins win over the Cowboys ensures cheer everywhere a fan goes. When the 'Skins beat the Cowboys 14-13 on a certain Monday night game three years ago, my entire college campus (2 1/2 hours from D.C.) was in a great mood for days. There were rainbows, sunshine, ninjas, and unicorns for the rest of the week (the roving band of ninjas might have been unrelated, but I choose to believe otherwise).

You seem to not even CARE about this rivalry. I lament that it may take a loss at the hands of the Cowboys before you ever truly realize how important this is. At the very least, please PRETEND to hate those jerks. Also, Joe Gibbs is better than you because he hated the Cowboys more.

Ready for you to step up the hate,


P.S. Maybe you should listen to WMZQ sometimes. Like this morning, they played "Hail to the Redskins" and "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys" back-to-back and now I'm totally pumped for Sunday and my Cowboys hate is renewed like it should be.

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