28 September 2009

I Think That You've Bleached Your Brain

Dear Jim Zorn,

If I could, I’d demote you.

To towel boy (Note: Do not Google image search "towel boy." Terrible idea).

On second thought, you’d probably screw that up, too.

So I change my mind: if I could, I’d fire you.

Know something else that sucks (besides your play-calling)? Redskins Parents gifted me with a Redskins “We <3 Our Coach” t-shirt back when Joe Gibbs was coach. I’ve been unable to wear it for over a year now. Thanks a lot.

No regards,


P.S. Stop spending so much time in the tanning beds. I think that you’ve bleached your brain.

P.P.S. Detroit? Seriously?


Bears Drunk said...

Their success is short-lived. Once they come to Soldier Field, they will be fed a Failburger with extra cheese courtesy of the Chicago Bears.

Don't give the Bucs an inch, though. That's a two-fer no one wants on their record.

Karen said...

Preaching to the choir, man.

Or you would be if I could carry a tune.

Larry Horse said...

Ah, yes Detroit. I was hoping the Lions wouldnt win a game this year. I'd be happy for Detroit only being known as the city the HBO show "Hung" is based around. Anyway, it does not surprise me that the three stooges, Danny, Vinny and Jim lost to the Lions. I was in town this past weekend and thought seriously about going over to Ashburn and applying for Vinny's job, I reconsidered when I would have to smooch Danny's buttcheeks on a regular basis. Instead I ate some wings and watched USF beat Florida State. I would say the solution to all Skins' problems was on the sidelines of the Cardinals this Sunday night in the large figure of Russ Grimm. But after some thought and after Kurt Warner was taken off in a body bag I thought again.

Wampa said...

I gotta say...as a Dallas fan, I thoroughly enjoyed your letter to Mr. Zorn. Only one question. If you fire Jim right now, aren't you giving up on the season?

Karen said...

Larry Horse: Dan Snyder requires ass smooching every hour on the hour between 8am and 5pm. This way he makes sure that no one takes more than an hour for lunch and no one can cut out early, either. As we all know, he likes to get his money's worth.

Wampa: Jim Zorn gave up on the season first!!! Also, I never give up. One of my weaknesses is that I'm fiercely loyal. Unfortunately, this extends to the Redskins, too. Come on, 14-2!